Another Update

So life continues to roll on. My weekends consist of driving to Marshfield to spend time with mom. This however will be the longest stretch I have not seen her since this all began...5 days assuming I go up this weekend. Which my husband is trying to get me not to do..."for my mental health". What he doesn't get is that my stomach is all a knot each day until my dad gets there and can tell me how she is doing.

A brief update on her health:

Heart: Doing ok...they are playing with some meds but nothing serious
Kidneys: Same
Head: A tiny bit better. This weekend she even asked some questions which is a huge step forwards.
Rest of body:

I just need to vent here about the physical therapy she is getting. It is sporadic to say the least. On Wednesday last week my father had to bring in the Hosptial Patient Advocate groupb because PT wasn't showing up at all. So Thursday and Friday she got great PT...but then Saturday and Sunday they didn't even get her out of bed! So back to the drawing board on that. I told dad to raise some hell today...so if I post asking for bail money for him you will know why!

Updates and frustations

I know this is supposed to be a blog about my weight loss journey and stuff but thats not what my life is right now.

As I type I am drinking wine from a box and eating too much food from a famous pizza chain that will remain nameless. I thought I was dealing well but I guess not.

I am in Marshfield WI spending time with my mother, only I am not with my mother right now. Why? Are visiting hours over? No. Was she asleep? No. Did she have to go to dialysis? No. Truth is, I needed a break.

I love my mother, but listening to her moan and say "help me" for hours on end is killing me. I want to help her, I need to help her for my mental health, but I just don't feel like I am doing any good.

To top it all off, she has a bed sore on her hinder. Has had it for a week but no one did anything about it. I have really been questioning our medical staff in this country while all this has been going on. I will spare you the details.

So updates:
Heart: Good
Kidneys: Same
Head: Same, which isn't so good
Bedsore: Worse
Eating: Same

Tomorrow is Chrismas Eve. I pray she will have a good day for the next couple days. Well always...but especially these days. For my dad if nothing else. Please please please.

Life is so fragile

So my last post I talked about my moms broken hip. So much has happened since then I don't even know where to begin.

While recovering from her hip surgery and still in the hospital, she suffered a mild heart attack. When they did tests on that they discovered major blockage in her heart (that her cardioligist of 10 years somehow missed but don't get me started) and required emergency bypass surgery. Several hours after the surgery she suffered one of the rare side affects, a stroke. This poor poor woman, whos body has already gone through so much, now has such an uphill battle.

For the last few weeks now it has been touch and go. They adjust one med and it sends her into a tailspin. It has been 2 steps forward and 2 steps back. She is now out of ICU, hopefully for good, but still has such a battle in front of her. She can't feed herself, can't walk, can't even talk much. I see glimpses of my mom in there but just that, glimpses. This makes me very sad, but also happy...when I see those glimpses my heart sores. The other day she said "I Love You" without any prompting...it brought tears to my eyes. And then I see her not able to feed herself and I cry.

My emotions are on such a roller coaster that all I want to do is curl up into a ball and drink. But I know I have to be strong for my mom and dad...so I go on. Please wish my family and myself well in our journey...the road will be long, hard but hopefully some of the sadness is behind us.

Catching up

How does life fly by so fast? And why do our parents have to grow old?

Went to my inlaws for Thanksgiving, won't bore you with details...but on the last day, as we were getting ready to head to the airport, my phone rings. It's my brother, never a good sign. "Mom fell and broke her hip". I freak. Being across the country and out of range left me feeling helpless.

We flew home, and then drove 5 hours to the hospital. Long story short, broken hip has been replaced. She is on the mend, but how long that will take and will she ever be the same remains to be seen.

My mother has a host of other medical issues in addition to a "whoa is me" mentality. The Dr's don't see any reason why she shouldn't be able to get back to where she was at, but we will have to see if that is where she "wants" to be. Because if she decides that she doesn't want to give it 110%, she may be in a home. I am sad...very sad. I wish I had some magic words that would make her want to try that 110%, but nothing I say seems to trigger her. So I pray. I am not a super religious person...but I do believe in a higher power. So I pray and I pray and I pray. Not that she will be well, cause that is already been decided that she can be...but that that she has the desire to live and get better. And I thought as I was praying, you know, in the last 5-10 years, the only thing I have prayed for is my mother. I don't know how I should read that, but this also makes me sad.

So I guess I can sum up my feelings right now as just sad.

Another goal accomplished

Back in January I set myself some goals for the year. One of which was to take a hike. Why the hell would that be a goal? Because getting in shape was an overall goal, and taking a walk for pleasure was something I had never done. Flash forward to this past weekend. My husband and I went away to celebrate our anniversary. He loves lighthouses and the area we went to was ripe with them. One of them, you had to park in a tiny little lot and walk and walk and walk to get to, through the woods, over rocks...you get the picture.

As we were walking back I asked him "Would you consider what we just did a hike?" He said "yeah why?" I told him about the goal and asked him again if he thought it would count towards meeting the goal. Now you have to understand, my husband keeps me very honest about my workouts...when I say I was working at a high level he will tell me flat out that I wasn't...or if I say I worked out for 40 min, he will correct me that it was really only 38 minutes or whatever. So if he says I did a hike, I am taking that.

So another goal done for this year! Yeah for me!

The only goal I have not yet hit is my personal trip goal. I still need to take one trip by myself. I have 2 months to do it...wish me luck.

10%!

When you join Weight Watchers one of the first goals they set for you is the 10% goal. When you have lost 10% of your starting body weight. For me, this has been a long time coming because I have so much to lose. But today, I finally did it! I hit the 10% plus. Got my fancy keychain, got some applause...it was all good. But is this what I feel best about today? No...I feel best that I have finally lost just about all the weight I gained from my lowest loss. I have been feeling like the biggest loser in history because I put so much weight back on, after I had successfully lost before. I was down on myself, I felt awful. This kept me from putting my heart into it I think, I kept thinking, "I won't succeed this time just like I didn't succeed last time"...but now, I feel like I am getting it all back in control. Feeling good!

Total loss: 37 Pounds

In laws

My mother in law was in town this weekend. I have allot to say about it, but I don't want to get in trouble so I am biting my tongue. But I pose this question to readers, is it me, or does everyone out there have demanding inlaws? In asking my friends, they all do as well, so I am wondering, is it just me or is it in laws in general?

Finally!

3.5 pounds lost this week. I needed a big week to motivate me and finally got it. I didn't go to WW though cause my most adorable neice is with me...but my scale matches the WW scale to the tea...so I am confident I will see the same thing when I go.

Total loss: 32 pounds!

Fat?

I am going to weigh in on Britney's weight becuase this whole thing is bugging me.

Britneys performance sucked...that we all know. She looked like she was half asleep toppling on heels that were too high for any human. And don't even get me started on the hair.

But fat? Hell no! I am fat...this I know. And I outweigh her by more then a hundred pounds. I would give my left pinky to be her size, especially after 2 kids! Could she have worn an outfit that was more flattering yes. Heck 1/2 of America shouldn't be wearing the bathing suits they wear, but they do.

No wonder women in our society have f'd up body image. We are being told that 110 pounds is fat. Since when did this become fat? In reviewing the healthy weight guidelines established by our government, in most cases unless you are 4 ft nothing, that is underweight. My Dr. has set my healthy weight between 150 and 160. I personally will be happy at 180. But Britney is probably 120 tops. This makes me really sad about society, thinking that this is fat. What must they think of me?

Put Put Put

Just putting along. Nothing really new here.

I didn't get the show, which is fine by me. The show is being done by a local community college and they also invite community members to join. So they were definately shooting for more college kids to be in the show. I like to do theatre for the social aspect and no disrespect, but my idea of a good time right now isn't to hang out with a bunch of 19 year olds.

This Labor Day weekend we hopped a flight to Washington DC. I had never been and it was fantastic. We promised ourselves we wouldn't run ourselves ragged but we did. We saw so much and there is so much left to see. Can't wait to go back!

I will update when I actually have something to say.

Feeling good!

Last night I did something for myself that I haven't done in a long time and it felt great. I auditioned for a play. Now back in my hey day, I did a ton of community theatre. I did show after show and had a blast meeting people and excersising my creative side. But life took over and and over the last 7-8 years I have focussed more on my career and family then on me. So this being the year that I do more for myself, I decided to go out for a show. How did I do? No clue, I will find out tomorrow if I even get a call back. But it felt really good. I had fun doing it, just releasing and becoming someone else for a few minutes. My husband was extremely supportive of me doing this, even though it will cut into time that we normally spend together. Add this on top of the almost 30 pounds I have lost and I am feeling pretty good.

Can you eat any F'ing louder?

There is a guy at work who sits about 10 feet from me. I have never heard anyone eat so loud in my life. Now this is a pet peeve of mine, but I am not the only person to comment on how annoyingly loud he eats.

He chews every single bite with his mouth open...and he eats allot! Especially chips!

I have tried joking with him about it and he didn't get the hint.

So help me please! How do I get him to chew with his mouth closed? If I don't find a solution soon I am afraid I am going to go postal!

Updated Weight

Its been awhile so I thought I would do an update on my weight loss jouney.

As of Saturday I was down 27.2 pounds in 3 months. Not too shabby except when you understand that the first 14 pounds came off in 3 weeks. Since then it has been slow going. I am not giving up though. I know I need to work out more and the loss will speed back up. But things have just been crazy. It seems like every minute of every day someone wants a peiece of me and I can't find 30 minutes to myself.

Next week I commit to working out 4 times.

Fair Take 2

I went to the fair again and this time I had:

Big Pickel
Baked potatoe with cheese and sour cream
Sangria
Popcorn
Fried cheese

Not as much as last time but just as yummy!

Everybodies going to the fair!

On Tuesday I went to the Wisconsin State Fair, here is a list of the food I ate...and I don't feel guilty about it at all. (at least until weigh in)

1) Chimichanga with rice
2) Ice cream sundae
3) Corn on the cob dripping in butter
4) Sour cream and chive fries
5) Big Pickle
6) Fried cheddar cheese
7) Wine
8) Beer
9) Various dips from vendors

Had a fabulous time with my friend. Sweated like a pig cause it was 85 out. Can't wait until next year!

WTF? Again

At the gym last night there was a girl on the elipticle machine, chewing gum like a cow chews cud and talking on a cell phone.

#1 Is she really getting a good work out?
#2 Chewing gum like a cow is gross and annoying.
#3 Why do people like that even go to the gym?

How bad am I?

This week my hubby is out of town for work. Does it make me a bad person/wife that I actually am enjoying him being gone? I get home from work and the house is my own. I can watch what I want on tv instead of SportsCenter. I can eat what I want without him telling me I should get in more protein/veggies. I am not sweating to death in bed from the human furnace that he is. Don't get me wrong, I guess I miss him some...but this trip is unusual, usually I am dying for him to come home the moment he leaves. But this time time, I really haven't missed him. I can tell he is missing me because I am getting an insane amount of text messages about stupid stuff to which I just reply with "oh" or something like that. But I am just not feeling it. Does this make me a horrible person?

Weekend Recap

Not too exciting this weekend, but here is a recap for those who are interested:

Weigh in: Somehow managed to drop those 3 pounds and ended up exactly where I was last week. I will take that.

Saturday morning: Went to do my friends hair for her. Got wasted by 10am. Her hair still turned out cute.

Saturday night: Went to a minor legue ball game with hubby. Night started out rotten, ended up just ok.

Sunday: Went to see my neice in her church pagent. She kept her back to the audience the whole time but still was adorable.

Sunday afternoon: Slept. There is nothing better then a nap!

There you have it folks, a recap of the boring life of me.

I am gonna throw it out the window!

I hate my fucking scale. Don't tell me I gained 3 pounds this week when I ate 1800 calories or less each day and worked out 5 fucking days! That is a scientific improbability you asshole!

Ok now that I got my frustration out, yes, I am up 3 pounds and ate very good this week. Worked out like a demon, drank all my water, all that stuff. **Sigh** Why can't I just be naturually skinny?

WTF?

Yesterday I did 2 posts that don't show up now. WTF?

Am I losing my mind?

I did a post like 10 min ago about water aerobics and now it is missing. Am I losing my mind or will it show back up?

Summary, I did it, it was good, will do it again.

Down 24.8 pounds.

Thats it...keep your fingers crossed that this one doesn't disappear.

Water Aerobics

Last night I did something I haven't done in a long time...water aerobics. I used to do it all the time because my friend taught it. But I found our local park has it now, and I gave it a shot. It was fun...hard but fun. I used muscles that I don't use when I do my treadmill workout. Too bad I found out when there is only 3 weeks left of it. So for the next three weeks on Tues and Thurs you can find me at the park pool.

Weight update, I am now at 24.8 pounds lost. Not so bad considering 2 really bad weekends this month. Feeling pretty good about it. Still pissed at myself for letting that weight get back on in the first place...but glad it is going in the right direction.

Weight loss, is it worth it?

Always looking for helpful ideas on losing weight I was doing some research on the new diet pill alli when I ran across this blog posting. Made me snort laughing, enjoy.

http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/2007/06/20/miracle-diet-pill-with-teeny-tiny-side-effect/

Houseguests

This weekend my hubby's college roommate and his wife came to stay with us. They are huge Nascar fans and wanted to go see the race in Joliet. So we said, come and stay with us. Oh what a mistake that was.

First of all, let me explain. We are still living in our "starter house". This house has only 1 full bathroom. Four adults needing to get ready in the morning in 1 bathroom is pure insanity! We only get by without guests because I use the guest room as "dressing room"...meaning I do my hair and makeup in there. So here I have been, trying to do it all in my bedroom with a sleeping husband...ugh.

Second, our friends wife has numerous food allergies. So me being the hostess with the mostess was having a major internal struggle with the fact that I could not cook meals for her...or even shop ahead of time. She is allergic to dairy, soy and wheat. So what can she eat? Lettuce...thats about it! I felt bad that I couldn't get up and cook nice breakfasts or anything like that because I did not know what her exact allergies were before hand to stock up. So instead we ate every meal out. Now I love eating out, but it left me 5 pounds heavier! I am sure some of that is water and I will lose it quickly but damn it pisses me off.

Lastly, neither my husband nor I are Nascar fans and did not know what to expect for the race. As a kid, my family was into Indy car racing, and I liked it well enough, but from what I knew, Nascar was a whole other culture. Boy was I right.

Let me begin by saying that I have never walked so much in my life, nor have I ever seen so many drunk people in one place. That being said, for me it wasn't a bad time. I like the whole "if you aint rubbing you aint racing" mentality. However for my husband it was shear torture. He hated every second of it. Finally left at about lap 40 of the race to "get out of the sun". I found him a hundred laps later sitting by the beer stand. I think if anyone ever asked him to go to a Nascar race again he would tell them to go to hell.

So needless to say hubby's nerves were shot by the end of Sunday. Mine were shot as well from trying to be the perky hostess for 4 days. I have never been as happy to go to work as I was yesterday. They were still here but I said I couldn't' get the day off and left them with hubby to do lord knows what. They should be on their way to the airport now...thank god! Nice enough people, but spending that much time with anyone and having to adjust my life to accommodate them for 5 days is enough to make me drink. Oh wait, I like drinking....How about, it is enough to make me excersise!

I have 2 months to psyche myself up for a visit from my mother in law. Oh joy. Maybe I will have to "work" again!

Fabulous Vacation

Just got back from a fabulous vacation to Disney with my brother and his family. It was hotter then snot there, but we had such a good time. My adorable neice was super duper adorable as well. Best vacation in some time. We are already planning a trip back!

Role reversal

I heard about it, I saw glimpses but I never really understood it until last night. As you get older, the relationship with your parents changes and the roles reverse. You go from Mom and Dad taking care of you, being there for you, being your everything, to you having to take care of them, clean up after them and listen to their woes.

Let me start by saying that my mother is physically not well. She is on dialisys 3 times per week, uses a walker/wheelchair and has other physical ailments. My father is her care taker/driver/cook/personal assistant, everything. Seriously, in my moms condition, if my father were not there for her, she would need to be in a nursing home and she is only 64. Some of this just is....she has these issues. But some of it is because she has given up and does nothing to help herself and thus her body has deteriorated to a point of no return. This is frustrating.

Anyways

Last night my father was being a grade A jerk and my mom called to cry on my shoulder about it. In his rantings he made statements to her like "I won't take care of you anymore" "Try to figure out how to take a bath yourself" and other really hurtful comments. She was crying to me about this, and I agreed he was being a jerk but I asked her what she wanted to do about it. She said some things that made me cry, like that she didn't want to live anymore. But then she said she just doesn't want to live with him. I agree that if he continues to make these threats and mean statements, that living with him is not going to do her any good. So I told her that if she can improve her physical state, at least the part that is in her control, that fine, she can come and live with me.

This thought scares the hell out of me. My mother is needy and dependant and the thought of having to take care of her full time scares me worse then having my own children. But the flip side of that scares me more. The flip side being her getting even more depressed and giving up completely and dying. So what can I do? Now it is up to her. If she agrees to physical therapy so that she can become a little more independent, she may be living with me. I am scared. I am sad it has come to this with my father. I am angry at him for being an asshole. I have so many emotions.

This part of life sucks. Want to know what caused the ruckus? My father does not want to go to his own granddaughters birthday party this weekend. That makes me even sadder.

What happens in Vegas....

Spent the weekend in Vegas with a girlfriend and came to some realizations.

1) I had a goal to take 2 trips without my husband this year as a way for me to work on benig independant. After this trip, I have changed the goal. One trip was enough for me. Although my husband is still encouraging me to do another.

2) My husband is my ideal travel partner. He puts my needs and wishes above his own each and every minute of our trips. My friend, not so much.

3) I will probably never take a trip with this friend again. She loves to shop and had me waiting in excess of 30 min for her to shop in stores I couldn't even buy a pair of sunglasses in. Don't even get me started on how long it took her to get ready each day. All in the hopes of finding a man, but whenever I asked where she wanted to go to do this she said she didn't care and we ended up really going no where.

4) Do not mix champagne with rum. If you take nothing else from this post...take that. Rum and Champagne, not a good combination!

All in all, not a bad trip. Not my best trip to Vegas, but not my worst either. I will definately go again, but this time, no Rum and Champagne combinations. I have learned my lesson the hard way! The picture is what happens when you mix the two!

Got change?

Interesting thing has been happening to me. When I go to purhase something, I am getting extra change...and wondering if this is a new trend?

Example: Every morning I buy my coffee, the total is $1.91. I hand the cashier $2 and instead of 9 cents back they hand me a dime.

I figure over the course of a year I will make a couple bucks.

I thought it was just this one place, but today it also happened at the local family restuarant at lunch. Is this happening to others? I like this trend if it continues!

Drum roll please

This weeks loss was 2.8 pounds. This puts me to a total of 17 pound lost in 5 weeks on WW. Not too bad...I will take it. Additionally, today I am wearing a pair of pants that I haven't worn in a long time. Its going to be a good monday!

Verdict

Ok, so weigh in was on Saturday. The verdict was: Up .4 pounds. I followed the plan to the letter and worked out 6 days. I am trying to deal with the fact that sometimes you can do everything right and your body just doesn't want to give the fat up. I must admit...I cried a little at the weigh in. I don't remember a week in my life that I was so focused on losing the weight. I really wanted to hit the 20 mark in one month. My friend who goes with me to the meetings really tried to cheer me up, which only made it worse. And wouldn't you know it...the topic of the meeting was how to get over the hurdles. As a fat person who has been on diets pretty much all of her life, I could probably write a book on dieting, but I listened and smiled when appropriate, not really taking anything out of the meeting because I was wallowing in my misery. So how did I deal with it? I went to the Chinese buffet and pigged out. Please, no lectures. I have been craving the chinese buffet since the day I started WW...and my husband finally said, just do it...get it out of your system. And you know what? It totally got the urge for crap food out of my system. So I am refocusing...and will not push myself so hard this week...but just go with the flow and be happy with a couple pound lose. Wish me luck.

I am scuuuurrrred!

Tomorrow is my weigh in day. Despite 5 hard hard hard work outs and 4 extra walks of 20 min each....and following the food plan like it was my bible...I am up 4 pounds as of this morning. Could it be water...maybe. But after a 6 pound week of being committed about 80%...I thought that a week with 110% would get me at least 4 pounds. But there is no way in Hell I am going to lose 8 pounds of water weight today. UGH!

Yummo

Today was the first day in a long time I actually brought lunch to work. For over a year I have went out to lunch every day. Yes..that is allot of cash out of my pocket...but that didn't bother me. I went because I needed to get out of the office to clear my head for awhile. Needless to say, going out every day also added on the pounds. Lately it has been healthier choices...salads...brothy soups...subs with no cheese or mayo...stuff like that. But in my effort to hit the big Two Oh this week, I figured I should be bringing some lunches.

Today I had a WW Meatloaf. Now I had never tried the WW brand...Lean Cuisine sure...but never WW. And damn it was good. It reminded me distinctly of the tv dinner meatloaf of my youth. Same taste and texture. I had flash backs to the aluminum tray being put into the oven and mom pealing back the aluminum cover. Remember those? I sure do. They were a treat in my house. My dad being a meat and potatoes farmer man liked to have nice home cooked meals, so we only got these when he wasn't home. We each got to pick out which one we wanted. Mine usually was meatloaf or meatballs. Considering I hardly eat red meat anymore this is odd...but I loved them. Call me weird, you won't be the first person. I am a sucker for tv dinners and memories. So WW meatloaf will definately get my repeat business. All for 5 points!

6 point something

Week 3 weigh in was 6. something pounds lost. Don't remember the exact. I do know I am at 14.8 pounds lost in 3 weeks. That means:

1) I am over the 10 pound hump i have had all year
2) I am going to push the hell out of myself and see if I can lost 20 pounds in 4 weeks..that is 5.2 pounds this week.

To get there I am going to:

1) work out twice a day for at least 3 of the days this week. One down so far
2) stay under my "points" every day...no going into my extra points at all! Even if that means triple the workouts

Why is 20 pounds so important. That is a f'ing lot of weight to lose in one month. Who the hell else can say they lost 20 poins in one month!

Weigh in week 2

I had my 2nd weigh in at Weight Watchers. Down 2.2 pounds. Still have not gotten under those 10 that i have gained and lost all year. Hopefully this week!

When did I become 5 again?

Yesterday I got this responce to an email from my boss:

No more discussion on that please.

Isn't that something you say to a 5 year old? Not a tenured leader within an organization, someone who is highly respected by their peers and Senior Leadership? UGH!

Ever have one of those days?

Every have one of those days where there is nothing really wrong but you just cant get happy about anything? Yeah that has been me this whole week. Blah. Got to get out of this funk.

WW Week 1/Mothers Day

Week 1 loss: 6 pounds

Please do not cheer or say way to go or anything like that. This is still part of the 10 pounds I have gained and lost all year long. When I get below those 10 pounds we can celebrate.

How was everyones Mothers day? Hope everyone got breakfast in bed, flowers or what not. I spent the weekend with my parents...at their house, sleeping on the couch. To say that I was annoyed this weekend would be putting it mildly. Let me try to explain.

My parents are 69 (dad) and 64 (mom) and they retired to the little town my dad grew up in in central Wisconsin. Population under 100. Mom grew up in the city and dad lived in the city for years. They act though like southern hill billies, without manners, saying things like they don't have a clue what the term "politically correct" means...and it is embarrasing. They also act like they are 80 instead of in their 60's. Like life is ending tomorrow. Now my mom does have health issues I won't go into...but they are all doom and gloom. It was a depressing weekend in which I cleaned, cooked and grocery shopped. Heck I even took a walk just to get out of there for awhile.

We did go to brunch where I got to see my adorable neice. She was all over my father snuggling him. He was oblivious. Their picture is up top, she is trying to get attention and he is spewing on about the crooked government or something like that.

I feel like a loser

I feel like a big fat loser.

This weekend I joined Weight Watchers. Why does this make me feel like a loser? Because in the past i have been able to lose up to 75 pounds without any assistance. I just set my mind to it and did it. But in January I committed to trying again and all I have done is lose and regain the same 10 pounds. So when my friend asked me to join her I did.

Saturday was my first meeting and I sat very quietly the whole way there...during the meeting and after. Not my usual self. My friend wondered what was wrong...I said just tired. But in truth, I felt like a big failure.

I know I should feel good I am trying this...since it has a long successful track record. I should feel grateful to my friend for suggesting it. But all I feel is a great sense of failure. To the point I won't tell anyone about it. Only my husband and my friend know. Not my parents, not my other friends no one. I know it is stupid and I should get over it. But I just can't. When I think of my failure I just want to cry.

How is the program going? Fine. A little time consuming trying to figure out all this points stuff...but I am not starving...I am not anything really. I guess I will reserve judgement until Saturday when I have my first weigh in. If I can get past those 10 pounds that I keep losing and regaining...I might start to tell people about it. Maybe.

Yard work

Know a good workout? Mow your lawn when the grass is about 8 inches high and wet. That will get you sweating and huffing and puffing!

No I don't normally let my grass get that long but my mower was broken.

To gym or not to gym part deux

1 treadmill available when I got there last night. 1. I sprinted to it. I held onto it for dear life and didn't get off until I thought my legs would fall off.

Is it worth it?

To gym or not to gym

Last night I went to the gym after a break. The break was partially due to health issues and partly due to laziness issues, but I digress.

I have posted about this before, but it continues.

I got to the gym last night and every single treadmill was taken. Now my gym has about 15 of them, they have more elipticles then treadmills, but 15 is still a good amount. Frustrated I sat down on a bike for a few minutes until a treadmill opened up. Then switched machines.

Do I continue to get frustrated by the lack of treadmills or just take the warm weather off from the gym and walk outside. Which in many cases I do prefer, but can't do when it is raining like it was yesterday. Or do I suck it up and continue on the track of having to switch machines mid workout? Is it worth my $19.95 per month for frustration? I guess I will go again tonight and see if it happens again. Then go from there.

Wish me luck!

Rant

I hate it when a store says they open at a certain time and they don't actually open until 10 minutes later.

Case in point: I go to lunch today and the sign says they open at 10:30, it is now 10:35. I go to the door....locked. I call them at 10:39 and ask what time they open. 10:30 she says and then says, which is in 2 minutes.

Since when did 10:30 become 10:41?

Makeup Whore

I am a make up whore. There I said it, it is out in the open. I have so much make up that in my lifetime I will never be able to wear all that I have, let alone all that I will buy over the remainder of my life.

This being said, when my friend asked me to join her for a "make over" at one of those hoighty toighty places at the mall I said "Sure!". I made her promise me before we went in that she would not let me buy any more lip glosses as I have so many they are going bad. 2 hours later and lots of colors tried, I walked out of the store with 4 products and my wallet $77 lighter. How the heck...That is nearly $20 per product. I have no trouble spending money on good products, but are these really any better then the $2 one down at the local drug store? I felt good though because I didn't buy any lip gloss.

Do I like what they did, sure. Love it, no. Do I like the products I bought, sure. Love it, no. But I got a quick fix on my addiction to make up. So when you next see me please comment on my $20 eye liner...it will at least make me feel like it was worth it.

How to lose 13 pounds in 2 weeks

Get some gastrointestinel crap that doesn't allow you to eat more then a 1000 calories a day without throwing up! It works. Definately not healthy or fun, but it is the only thing that is positive about this damn thing going on in my belly.

Survey says....

Quick survey:

How many sick days does your company give you per year?
What happens if you use more then that?
Do you have any repurcussions if you call in excessively to your job?
What would you consider excessive?

Thank you for your time. I am trying to find out if I am being a hard ass boss or in line with the rest of America.

The results

So last week I asked for feedback about a situation with one of my employees. Summary: Employees mother passed away and she asked me to take up a fund for her. I asked, is this ok?

The results are an even 50/50 split everwhere. And no matter what side you were on, you were on opposite sides of the spectrum...it was either really ok with you or really not appropriate.

A few insights people gave me that I hadn't thought of:

-I am not in a situation(thankfully) to need the money if something happened to my parents so i don't know what they are going through

-It may be a cultural thing

-She could have been under tremendous grief and not thinking clearly (but she has called me 4 times to ask how the money is coming in)

Personally, I am on the side of the spectrum that is not ok. However if she had just said "I don't know how I am going to pay for the funeral" and I took it upon myself to take up a fund, i feel it would have been fine. But I come from the old school that it is not ok to beg for money.

To add to this, I know this individual very well having worked closely with her for over a year. She drives a new volvo, lives in a new townhouse, only wears designer clothes...you get the picture. Is she over extended...sure, but do I need to pay for her mistakes?

To top it off, on Thursday I headed to the wake to pay my respects. I was supposed to be from 6-7. Due to heavy traffice I got there at 6:55 and she was already gone. Where was she you ask? Shopping at Walmart. Do I think she spent the cash I collected on her shopping? You bet I do. This situation has brought out the cynic in me yes. I will not be the one who "takes up the cause" again.

Interested to know how much we raised? Over $400 in an office of 25. With 2 people giving $100 each.

Need Feedback

So something interesting happened last week and everyone I talk to has mixxed emotions about it, so I thought I would ask y'all your thoughts.

I recieved a call from one of my employees that her mother died (very sad). It was the message she left me that has us talking...it goes like this.

"Lisa this is Milly (named changed). My mom died and I don't have money for the funeral, can you take up a collection at work so I can pay for it?"

End of message.

My next call was my boss, telling me that Milly had called her and told her she couldn't pay for the funeral and wanted a collection taken up, so I should start a collection.

So here is the question. Is it appropriate to ask your coworkers for money to pay for a relatives funeral? People I talk to are split 50/50. I have a very strong opinion one way, but I won't reveal it until all votes are in. Tell me what you think!

I am a "light" eater

Last night my husband took me to an "all you can eat" lobster place. I ate 5 lobsters...mind you, they were small ones...a pound to a pound and half. I thought to myself, "oh my god I am such a pig!" So I asked the waiter. "Whats the record"...he said...are you ready for this???? Thirty three! I was like, holy crap...I would be puking my guts up. So then I asked..."what is the average"...his answer...eight to nine.

So I guess I am a light eater! Can you believe that? No one has ever said that about me! LOL!

Pink Rocks

Pink Rocks!

Went to see her last night and man can she put on a show. Super high energy. She even did this Cirque de Soele thingy where she was flipping all over these ribbons!

Awesome show.

And you should get my business why?

So my husband and I want to do some small projects around the house that we hope will increase the value of the home so that when the housing market picks back up we can sell it. So this week I started reaching out and trying to find some people to do the work. I am starting with doing some updates to the bathroom. I visited a home show to get some names, I did a google search to find some local people, I even visited Craigslist.

My first annoyance was people talking down to me. Hey, I am coming to you because I dont know about grout and crap. Don't talk to me like I am a moron because I don't know if I have drywall or greenboard behind my showers surround. So cancel those people off the list who talked to me like dirt.

Next people to annoy me...people who think because I am asking for their help they can charge me an arm and a leg. Seriously. The quotes we got were all within the same range except for 2. They were $2000 more then the rest of the quotes. Your service can't be that different. All the rest are insured, can provide references, pictures of their work etc. What do you think I am, stupid?

The final people who made me mad are those who didn't follow through with the quote after I talked to them. "Oh yeah, it should be this amount, I will email it all to you in the next day". That was Monday. Today is Friday. Guess what buddy, even if you mailed it now, you lost my business. If you can't get your quote done on time why would I think you are going to get my bathroom done on time.

So that leaves one lone guy standing. So once I check his references I am pulling the trigger and getting the work started. Lesson to people trying to get my business. Don't play games with me or you will quickly lose my business.

Mondays at the Gym

I hate Mondays at the gym. Everyone goes trying to make up for the bad eating they did over the weekend so the place is packed. Last night I went and there was 1, count it 1 peice of cardio equipment available out of like 50. It was an elipticle machine, which I don't like because it hurts my hips. But I wasn't about to leave after I had gotten there. So I hopped on the machine, did it for 26 minutes which was about when i thought would fall off the thing from exhaustion. I would have then hopped onto a treadmill for awhile but they were still all full!

So I am proud that I did 26 min on the elipticle...much longer then i have ever done on that machine. But I really wanted to do like 60 min on the treadmill with no go. Bummer. Maybe tonight!

March

I love the month of March. It is a month of renewal. It is the month that spring begins. Flowers start to bloom, trees bud. Oh I love spring. It is by far my favorite season.

Fiber 1

You ever try this stuff? This shit will clear you out in no time! (no pun intended) Good stuff!

Holy Cow!

How does one lose 5 pounds in one week? I have managed to but it does not seem scientifically possible. I am still up over my all time low, but hopefully heading back down.

Salespeople

I miss the days when electronic sales people worked on commision. Why? Because they really knew their products. You could ask them anything and they knew it...they had to in order to earn a paycheck. An "I don't know" wouldn't suffice to a customer.

Today, with the sales people making an hourly rate that they get paid wheather they make the sale or not, they aren't motivated to learn their products so much.

Case in point: Yesterday I went to a store that will remain nameless to pick up a gift card. But while I was there, I wanted to check out the video mp3 players. I am trying to decide between the video Ipod, the Zune and the Creative Vision. I walked up to the kiosk and a sales person asked if I needed help. I said "yeah, I am trying to decide between these three". The sales person looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language first of all. Then he couldn't figure out how to power up any of them except the Ipod. When I asked questions, he started spouting the basic facts that I already knew from looking at the manufactuers web site. I was frustrated. I said, "yeah I know all of that, what do you think of them". To which I was greated by silence so I thanked him and walked away.

So readers, if you have any feedback on either the video Ipod, the Zune or the Creative Vision, please let me know. Because I can't seem to get any information from the electronics store. Thank you.

My cat

I have a cat

My cat is big

He weighs 14 pounds

He sleeps on my head

I love it

Good Kitty

Packers vs Bears

I live in a northern suburb of Chicago Illinois, but I am orginally from Wisconsin. Living where I do I find that there are just as many Packer fans as there are Bears fans. So when the question is posed to me, Packers or Bears, I half heartedly say "Oh I really don't follow football". Which is the truth, I don't. Sure I go to Superbowl parties, but that is only for the food!

So unless you are living under a rock, you know that the Bears lost yesterday. It was a decent effort but they just didn't have it in them. Listening to the radio on the way in to work today and here at work all I am hearing is Bears bashing! You would think that the Bears had committed murder or something!

Again, I am not a football fan. but one thing I will say is when the Packers went to the Superbowl in 98 and lost, the fans and the state still stood behind them. They were still the heros of the state. They could do no wrong.

So based on how the fans have reacted to the loss of their beloved Bears, I have decided that when someone asks me who I like better, I will now proudly say Packers. For the simple reason that I would rather be lumped with those die hard, we don't care if you win or lose fans then the fly by night Bears fans.

Go Packers! Go Brett Favre! (who I once met but that is another post)

You want me to do what?

I have posted before about how employees act like you are asking for their first born child when you ask them to do work. But I have to continue on this topic because I still don't get it.

I am a customer service manager. You know, you call the 800# to ask a question, I manage the people who answer the phone. The last week will be the busiest week of the year given the industry we are in. We talked about how busy it would be for 6 months before it came. We set realistic expectations. We gave them no less then 15 hours of training to prepare, and these are some of the things I hear come out of their mouths:

1) Why do these idiots keep calling?
2) I can't take another call
3)I need a break! (this is 10 min after returning from a break)
4) That moron!
5) Jesus Christ! This idiot won't shut up!

Now these are some of the tamer things I have heard. You get the general theme though that the people aren't happy with the people they are talking to. Even though, we are paying them a hefty salary to talk to them (one of the top in the area)...paying for their benefits...providing them snacks and lunches daily. I won't even go into how many extra breaks I find people taking. I mean, who in this country gets 5 breaks a day...my employees seem to think they do. Or should I say, a small handful of them do. Not all...I shouldn't say that. But the loudest complainers about everything else do.

Now on the other hand, I have heard some doosies come out of customers mouths. We are a software company..keep this in mind when you read these:

1) Do I need a computer to use this?
2) Quit being a buthead (after not giving a credit for some thing he used)
3) Why can't you print these for me? (um, because the printer is on your end not ours)
4) Sir do you have your computer turned on? I have to have my computer on for this to work?
5) I bought this so my white trash babysitter could use it and it isn't working (no lie on this one)

I want to also say, out of a team of 11, I have 3 who are not what I would call professional. So it isn't everyone. The majority are good, hard working, caring individuals. But these 3 make my life a hell. Not only do they gripe after every call, they take 5-6 breaks a day, do crappy work overall, and bitch about everything from our dress code (we have none) to our attendance policy. Seriously if they put as much energy into their job as they do bitching they could be running the company. But instead they bitch about how they didn't get a promotion, how they got written up for calling in 4 times in a month...etc. Someday I hope to be able to turn these 3 bad seeds around...but for now, I just try to get through my day without wringing their neck.

What the F%$#!

How in one meal do you gain 4 pounds? I mean I get the science...but damn it...why??????? I was doing good this week until dinner last night which wasn't that high in calories. UGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

How much did that cost?

This weekend I had my neice. We had a fun time, did all the crazy stuff 2 year olds do. To cap off the weekend I decided to take her to Princess's on Ice. She is 2, she is a girl...what little girl doesn't like Princess stuff right? Well she loved the show...and I had fun watching her enjoying it. The issue I have isn't with the show itself, or even the cost of the show. It is with the cost of the little trinket crap that they sell every 5 feet.

Being the good aunt I am, I took her up to the crappy trincket booth and said...Peanut, pick out whatever you want. Well the guy working the booth is waiving a lit up wand kind of thing that he said played music but being that there were 10 thousand people there I didn't hear a thing. So my neice...being 2 and always picking the first thing she sees, says she wants the wand the guy is waiving...I say...wait, lets look at everything. So we pick out 3-4 things and I say, ok, we have it narrowed down, what do you want? She still picks the damn wand. Ok, I said she could get whatever she wanted to get so fine, I'll take the wand.

That will be $28 bucks the guy says. At first, nothing registers in my head. I had the guy the cash. My neice happily is waiving her wand. I am smiling because she is so happy. Then we get to our seats. I sit down, and it clicks. I just paid $28 freaking bucks! Wait I say to myself, was it really $28 bucks? Could that be? Why yes, it was. $28 freaking dollars for a peice of plastic!

Lesson learned, first of all, ask the price...Second...don't give a 2 year old cart blanche on whatever she wants. It isn't that I have trouble spending $28 on her...it is that it was $28 on a peice of plastic that is probably already been forgotten about and that will not light up, play the music or anything in 48 hours. Next time...I will go ahead and pick out some smaller ticket items that I won't get pissed about and let her pick from those. Instead of the $28 wand from hell!

I did it again!

Worked out again last night. Down 2 pounds this week. The same 2 pounds I was up last week, but at least the scale is headed back down.

I did it!

Last night I worked out. 40 min on the treadmill and light weights. It is a start.

Did you know, that according to Fitday.com playing ping pong burns more calories then a slow walk at 2.5-3.0 mph! So my coworker and I have committed to playing every day. And you know what? I believe it does burn allot of calories...because I break a small sweat every day! It could be from chasing the darn ball all over...but hey, it is a sweat, so I will take it!

Still having trouble with my hot water with lemon in the morning for the fat flush. Anyone got any suggestions?

Back on the wagon

I originally started this blog to help hold myself accountable for my weight loss. In reading what I have written in the past month, I have done very little of that. Shame on me. I am only down 3 pounds after 3 weeks. Yes, I know, a loss is a loss. But I just keep thinking about what I could be losing if I really focused.

In the past I have lost 2-3 pounds a week when I have been focused. That is 1200-1500 calories a day, and the gym 5 days a week. I got back on the 1200-1500 calorie thing, sort of...with a few little hiccups, but I cannot get myself to the gym to save my life.

There are several reasons:

1) I hate going at this time of year. It is always so packed with people who just made new years resolutions that I can't get on a treadmill to save my life. And I really do not want to wait in line to work out. I have far better things to be doing with my time.

2) This is our busy season at work so I am putting in massive hours.

3) I have been sick.

But as I type these out I realize they are nothing but excuses. I have been busy before, I have been at the gym during its peak times, and I have gone when I have been sick and with broken bones. Why is it so hard to get on track again? 2 years ago when I started working on myself I was so focused that you couldn't get a lick of sugar past these lips. Now, I find an excuse for everything. What changed and how do I get what I had back?

Anyone with any suggestions, please, give them to me. I am open.

Also, if anyone has tried the Fat Flush program I would love to hear from you. I have had success and like what it does for me...but I can't get down the hot water with lemon in the morning. I know this is a key component in helping with water retention but I dread that part each and every morning! Email if you have suggestions at law10_9@yahoo.com or post in comments. Thanks.

Sick

Its that time of year again when all the germs seem to converge upon those of us in the blistery cold. I managed to avoid it for several weeks, but this weekend got hit with the dreaded cold. There isn't much you can do about colds...other then suck it up and deal. So here I am....dealing. Really wishing I could be in bed though.

Here to tissues and cough drops!

Too cute!

Here is my neice and my husband. Can you see why I love this little girl so much? Do they get any cuter? Yes I am biased. Cheeto face and all!

I was in the picture but chose to cut myself out...not one of my better pictures.

Birthdays

When I was a kid, my parents went way out of their way to make my birthday extra special because it was right after the holidays. I had special dinners. Handmade gifts. Friends over. Big cakes. All of it. As I got older and moved out, for some reason I still expected this to continue. Of course it didn't. From my parents I get a check and if I am lucky a phone call. But for some reason I still anticipate my birthday like it is my wedding day. I expect to wake up, have all my friends at least call me. To have my husband lavish gifts on me. To have my coworkers have a huge party for me. Guess what....it doesn't happen like that.

I don't want to complain. Because my birthday was very nice. Nicer then most people ever get. But I didn't get the big bang I used to get out of my birthdays. I got a lovely gift from my coworkers. A fabulous night on the town from my husband. Cards from my family. I guess maybe that is it. My parents have the capability to continue to do the cool stuff they used to if they wanted. They have the internet, they have a car, they have the cash. But I get a check. For both Birthdays and Christmas. When I first started out on my own, a check was great...much needed to pay bills. Fortunately my hubby and I are in a good spot and don't need the random cash like that. It would be more meaningful for me to get a cheesy gift from them. I have told them this...but alas...still no gift. I should get over this..not get bitter. I know this. But I struggle to understand why when I have told them I would prefer a $5 candle over a $50 check they don't get it. Or why they choose not to.

Oh well. I guess I will never get through to them and just need to move on.

I did get a fantastic call from my neice in which she said "Happy Esa!" "Wuvvy Esa". To those of you who don't speak 2 yr old, that was Happy Birthday Lisa and Love you Lisa. That made the whole day for me. She is the light of my life. Isn't it amazing how someone so small can do such a little thing and make you happy? I am amazed by it every day!

Rosie VS Donald

I have been following this feud since day one. Checking tmz.com multiple times a day while at work to find out who said what now. Here are my thoughts on the whole thing.

1) I like Rosie, always have. But she did take her original comments a little far. She was correct to say that Donald should not be looked at as a moral compass for anyone, let alone 20 year olds in America. With 2 ex wifes that he cheated on...no way. Her hair thing...funny stuff....face it, he has bad hair. But the whole bankrupcy...without having facts in front of her, she should have been cautious on what she said about it. Knowing what kind of sue happy person he is.

2) I don't like Donald as a person, but he has done some things on The Apprentice that have made me tune in. However, the comments he made were WAY out line. He was mud slinging at her like some little kid who didn't get his way. The comments he made were very offensive to many people. Especially those people who carry a few extra pounds. As a result, his new season is tanking because he offended people so much they won't watch it. I won't be...and I used to not miss an episode. I refuse to help promote someone who is so completely insensitive, ignorant, mean, and so many other words I can't put in here. I do find it funny now that his show is not doing so hot how he is trying to spin stuff. That is a clear sign of someone whose head is to big for themselves.

3) Barbara and defending Rosie. Barbara is a reporter, plain and simple, they are supposed to remain neutral..so I get why she didn't say something at first. I am glad she has now. Did she ever make comments to Donald about Rosie? I doubt it...his head is so warped that he probably spun "Rosie likes to keep things lively" into the whole lying with pigs comment. No..I think Barbara is ok.

I will be interested to see if this thing is over. I do feel bad for Rosie's family in this. Her kids have had to hear things they shouldn't have because of their mothers job. But I guess that is a price you pay when you become popular like she has.

In my mind Rosie wins this one.

Week 1ish

So I finished my first week (yeah I know that I started this more then a week ago) down 4 pounds. Probably would have been more but I had a huge dinner the night before weigh in. Stupid I know, but damn it tasted good.

Now just let me get through this weekend and it should be smooth sailing. Since it is my Birthday weekend I am sure I will have many tempting treats!

Wish me luck!

Gym etiquette

I have to ask another stupid question. Am I the only person in America who thinks that people have poor etiquette in the gym? Example: Woman on the elliptical machine popping her gum so loud it can be heard over the loud music. Why? First of all, if you are chewing that hard, can you really be getting a good workout? Second, don't you understand that it is so annoying to hear that?

Second Example: Man on treadmill sweating profusely. Uses his gym provided towel to not only wipe the sweat from his brow, but from his arm pits, his back and every other body part you can imagine sweating. And then, proceeds to use the same towel to wipe down the machine as the gym management has requested.

WHY????? That is so gross!

Finally, why do the skinny people who work at the gym give those of us less then skinny people "the look" when we walk in. Like "why the hell are you even trying you fatso". I swear I get that from the Size 2's when I walk in. It is so annoying and I really want to hit them in their skinny face!

Maybe some day I will get it. But I doubt it. I have come to realize that in this world so many little things/people annoy me. I am not saying I am perfect and don't annoy others. But at least I try to keep my annoying habits to myself and not force the rest of the world to deal with them.

Happy New Year

Call me a loser, I was in bed by 10:30 on New Years Eve...and woke up at midnight to hear my neighbors fireworks...and promptly went right back to bed. Loser!

But I am resolving to make 2007 a more adventurous year. Some things I would like to do:

Go on a hike. I have never walked for fun
Stay up till midnight on New Years Eve
Meet with my friends at least once per month
Take two trips on my own without hubby

I will add to this list as time goes on, hopefully it will be a long one that I can check off regularly.

I excersised 3 times this weekend...bonus for me! Today I start using Fitday.com again to get my rear end back into shape!

Happy New Year to all!