Yummo

Today was the first day in a long time I actually brought lunch to work. For over a year I have went out to lunch every day. Yes..that is allot of cash out of my pocket...but that didn't bother me. I went because I needed to get out of the office to clear my head for awhile. Needless to say, going out every day also added on the pounds. Lately it has been healthier choices...salads...brothy soups...subs with no cheese or mayo...stuff like that. But in my effort to hit the big Two Oh this week, I figured I should be bringing some lunches.

Today I had a WW Meatloaf. Now I had never tried the WW brand...Lean Cuisine sure...but never WW. And damn it was good. It reminded me distinctly of the tv dinner meatloaf of my youth. Same taste and texture. I had flash backs to the aluminum tray being put into the oven and mom pealing back the aluminum cover. Remember those? I sure do. They were a treat in my house. My dad being a meat and potatoes farmer man liked to have nice home cooked meals, so we only got these when he wasn't home. We each got to pick out which one we wanted. Mine usually was meatloaf or meatballs. Considering I hardly eat red meat anymore this is odd...but I loved them. Call me weird, you won't be the first person. I am a sucker for tv dinners and memories. So WW meatloaf will definately get my repeat business. All for 5 points!

6 point something

Week 3 weigh in was 6. something pounds lost. Don't remember the exact. I do know I am at 14.8 pounds lost in 3 weeks. That means:

1) I am over the 10 pound hump i have had all year
2) I am going to push the hell out of myself and see if I can lost 20 pounds in 4 weeks..that is 5.2 pounds this week.

To get there I am going to:

1) work out twice a day for at least 3 of the days this week. One down so far
2) stay under my "points" every day...no going into my extra points at all! Even if that means triple the workouts

Why is 20 pounds so important. That is a f'ing lot of weight to lose in one month. Who the hell else can say they lost 20 poins in one month!

Weigh in week 2

I had my 2nd weigh in at Weight Watchers. Down 2.2 pounds. Still have not gotten under those 10 that i have gained and lost all year. Hopefully this week!

When did I become 5 again?

Yesterday I got this responce to an email from my boss:

No more discussion on that please.

Isn't that something you say to a 5 year old? Not a tenured leader within an organization, someone who is highly respected by their peers and Senior Leadership? UGH!

Ever have one of those days?

Every have one of those days where there is nothing really wrong but you just cant get happy about anything? Yeah that has been me this whole week. Blah. Got to get out of this funk.

WW Week 1/Mothers Day

Week 1 loss: 6 pounds

Please do not cheer or say way to go or anything like that. This is still part of the 10 pounds I have gained and lost all year long. When I get below those 10 pounds we can celebrate.

How was everyones Mothers day? Hope everyone got breakfast in bed, flowers or what not. I spent the weekend with my parents...at their house, sleeping on the couch. To say that I was annoyed this weekend would be putting it mildly. Let me try to explain.

My parents are 69 (dad) and 64 (mom) and they retired to the little town my dad grew up in in central Wisconsin. Population under 100. Mom grew up in the city and dad lived in the city for years. They act though like southern hill billies, without manners, saying things like they don't have a clue what the term "politically correct" means...and it is embarrasing. They also act like they are 80 instead of in their 60's. Like life is ending tomorrow. Now my mom does have health issues I won't go into...but they are all doom and gloom. It was a depressing weekend in which I cleaned, cooked and grocery shopped. Heck I even took a walk just to get out of there for awhile.

We did go to brunch where I got to see my adorable neice. She was all over my father snuggling him. He was oblivious. Their picture is up top, she is trying to get attention and he is spewing on about the crooked government or something like that.

I feel like a loser

I feel like a big fat loser.

This weekend I joined Weight Watchers. Why does this make me feel like a loser? Because in the past i have been able to lose up to 75 pounds without any assistance. I just set my mind to it and did it. But in January I committed to trying again and all I have done is lose and regain the same 10 pounds. So when my friend asked me to join her I did.

Saturday was my first meeting and I sat very quietly the whole way there...during the meeting and after. Not my usual self. My friend wondered what was wrong...I said just tired. But in truth, I felt like a big failure.

I know I should feel good I am trying this...since it has a long successful track record. I should feel grateful to my friend for suggesting it. But all I feel is a great sense of failure. To the point I won't tell anyone about it. Only my husband and my friend know. Not my parents, not my other friends no one. I know it is stupid and I should get over it. But I just can't. When I think of my failure I just want to cry.

How is the program going? Fine. A little time consuming trying to figure out all this points stuff...but I am not starving...I am not anything really. I guess I will reserve judgement until Saturday when I have my first weigh in. If I can get past those 10 pounds that I keep losing and regaining...I might start to tell people about it. Maybe.