Status Update

Mom has finally started making progress. Her bedsore is healed, and they are working on building her strength back in order to get her ready to go to rehab. She is sitting up in a chair for over an hour at a crack. She has to get to 3 hours so she can do Dialysis. Once there, they will send her to rehab where she will have to relearn to walk again. I have been in regular contact with her Dr and discussing her medical condition. She has shown signifigant improvement in that area as well, and we are working on adjusting her meds, specifically the ones that play with her head. For the first time in such a long time this weekend I got to really talk to my mom. She carried on full conversations. What a relief.

On the home front though my husband admited to me that he feels left behind. That I am not making him a priority right now and he misses that. I am having difficulty juggling making everyone happy. Mom and Dad want me at the hospital (4 hours from our house) every weekend. My husband wants me home. I can't please everyone. In some ways I feel like he is being selfish...this hasn't been years...its only been 5 months. But yet I understand...if I lost him for 5 months I would be going insane. I just don't know how to make everyone happy. But in the same token, everyone keeps telling me, do whats right for you...make yourself happy. I don't even know what makes me happy though...is it going up there? Is it staying home? I just don't know. Seeing the shrink isn't helping me either. She helped me figure out a few things, like why I was so angry at my mother for so many years...but now that we are trying to work on "me" I don't feel she is helping, so I will probably stop going to see her. I just wish there was a magic answer...but there isn't. Please just give me strength to get through it, that is all I ask.