Role reversal

I heard about it, I saw glimpses but I never really understood it until last night. As you get older, the relationship with your parents changes and the roles reverse. You go from Mom and Dad taking care of you, being there for you, being your everything, to you having to take care of them, clean up after them and listen to their woes.

Let me start by saying that my mother is physically not well. She is on dialisys 3 times per week, uses a walker/wheelchair and has other physical ailments. My father is her care taker/driver/cook/personal assistant, everything. Seriously, in my moms condition, if my father were not there for her, she would need to be in a nursing home and she is only 64. Some of this just is....she has these issues. But some of it is because she has given up and does nothing to help herself and thus her body has deteriorated to a point of no return. This is frustrating.

Anyways

Last night my father was being a grade A jerk and my mom called to cry on my shoulder about it. In his rantings he made statements to her like "I won't take care of you anymore" "Try to figure out how to take a bath yourself" and other really hurtful comments. She was crying to me about this, and I agreed he was being a jerk but I asked her what she wanted to do about it. She said some things that made me cry, like that she didn't want to live anymore. But then she said she just doesn't want to live with him. I agree that if he continues to make these threats and mean statements, that living with him is not going to do her any good. So I told her that if she can improve her physical state, at least the part that is in her control, that fine, she can come and live with me.

This thought scares the hell out of me. My mother is needy and dependant and the thought of having to take care of her full time scares me worse then having my own children. But the flip side of that scares me more. The flip side being her getting even more depressed and giving up completely and dying. So what can I do? Now it is up to her. If she agrees to physical therapy so that she can become a little more independent, she may be living with me. I am scared. I am sad it has come to this with my father. I am angry at him for being an asshole. I have so many emotions.

This part of life sucks. Want to know what caused the ruckus? My father does not want to go to his own granddaughters birthday party this weekend. That makes me even sadder.

What happens in Vegas....

Spent the weekend in Vegas with a girlfriend and came to some realizations.

1) I had a goal to take 2 trips without my husband this year as a way for me to work on benig independant. After this trip, I have changed the goal. One trip was enough for me. Although my husband is still encouraging me to do another.

2) My husband is my ideal travel partner. He puts my needs and wishes above his own each and every minute of our trips. My friend, not so much.

3) I will probably never take a trip with this friend again. She loves to shop and had me waiting in excess of 30 min for her to shop in stores I couldn't even buy a pair of sunglasses in. Don't even get me started on how long it took her to get ready each day. All in the hopes of finding a man, but whenever I asked where she wanted to go to do this she said she didn't care and we ended up really going no where.

4) Do not mix champagne with rum. If you take nothing else from this post...take that. Rum and Champagne, not a good combination!

All in all, not a bad trip. Not my best trip to Vegas, but not my worst either. I will definately go again, but this time, no Rum and Champagne combinations. I have learned my lesson the hard way! The picture is what happens when you mix the two!

Got change?

Interesting thing has been happening to me. When I go to purhase something, I am getting extra change...and wondering if this is a new trend?

Example: Every morning I buy my coffee, the total is $1.91. I hand the cashier $2 and instead of 9 cents back they hand me a dime.

I figure over the course of a year I will make a couple bucks.

I thought it was just this one place, but today it also happened at the local family restuarant at lunch. Is this happening to others? I like this trend if it continues!

Drum roll please

This weeks loss was 2.8 pounds. This puts me to a total of 17 pound lost in 5 weeks on WW. Not too bad...I will take it. Additionally, today I am wearing a pair of pants that I haven't worn in a long time. Its going to be a good monday!

Verdict

Ok, so weigh in was on Saturday. The verdict was: Up .4 pounds. I followed the plan to the letter and worked out 6 days. I am trying to deal with the fact that sometimes you can do everything right and your body just doesn't want to give the fat up. I must admit...I cried a little at the weigh in. I don't remember a week in my life that I was so focused on losing the weight. I really wanted to hit the 20 mark in one month. My friend who goes with me to the meetings really tried to cheer me up, which only made it worse. And wouldn't you know it...the topic of the meeting was how to get over the hurdles. As a fat person who has been on diets pretty much all of her life, I could probably write a book on dieting, but I listened and smiled when appropriate, not really taking anything out of the meeting because I was wallowing in my misery. So how did I deal with it? I went to the Chinese buffet and pigged out. Please, no lectures. I have been craving the chinese buffet since the day I started WW...and my husband finally said, just do it...get it out of your system. And you know what? It totally got the urge for crap food out of my system. So I am refocusing...and will not push myself so hard this week...but just go with the flow and be happy with a couple pound lose. Wish me luck.

I am scuuuurrrred!

Tomorrow is my weigh in day. Despite 5 hard hard hard work outs and 4 extra walks of 20 min each....and following the food plan like it was my bible...I am up 4 pounds as of this morning. Could it be water...maybe. But after a 6 pound week of being committed about 80%...I thought that a week with 110% would get me at least 4 pounds. But there is no way in Hell I am going to lose 8 pounds of water weight today. UGH!