Up and down

The last 4 months have been beyond hellish. My mother is still in the hospital due to her stage 4 bedsore. I have so many things to say about that that I don't even know where to begin. So I will just say one thing.

Bedsores are 100% preventable. If you or one of your loved ones are in the hospital for an extended period of time, and are not capable of moving yourself, make sure that the nursing staff turns you at least once every 2 hours. And not just turn, they should use a foam wedge to ensure that you are properly moved off your backside.

Since all this has begun, I have found out that the government agrees that bedsores are preventable and as of October 2008, is making hospitals pay for the care of these sores for anyone who gets one while in the hospital. That doesn't help my mom, but at least it is a start for others out there.

Mom could have been released to rehab back in January if it were not for this sore, and now we are still looking at least a month in the hospital. All the while, I watch her mental health deteriorate because they are doing nothing to stimulate her. So she just stares at the ceiling. I just pray that when she gets home or in another setting that this will improve. That is the hardest thing of all to see.

How have I been hanging in there? I haven't. I see a shrink now to try to deal. My husband doesn't think I am dealing at all. Its is an up and down roller coaster...one day I am fine, the next I cry at a commercial. Life just feels hard right now. Like its hard to get up, like its hard to function. But I will go on. I have to...for my family.

Updates and frustations

I know this is supposed to be a blog about my weight loss journey and stuff but thats not what my life is right now.

As I type I am drinking wine from a box and eating too much food from a famous pizza chain that will remain nameless. I thought I was dealing well but I guess not.

I am in Marshfield WI spending time with my mother, only I am not with my mother right now. Why? Are visiting hours over? No. Was she asleep? No. Did she have to go to dialysis? No. Truth is, I needed a break.

I love my mother, but listening to her moan and say "help me" for hours on end is killing me. I want to help her, I need to help her for my mental health, but I just don't feel like I am doing any good.

To top it all off, she has a bed sore on her hinder. Has had it for a week but no one did anything about it. I have really been questioning our medical staff in this country while all this has been going on. I will spare you the details.

So updates:
Heart: Good
Kidneys: Same
Head: Same, which isn't so good
Bedsore: Worse
Eating: Same

Tomorrow is Chrismas Eve. I pray she will have a good day for the next couple days. Well always...but especially these days. For my dad if nothing else. Please please please.